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Since Bubba Started Bass Fishing, Bubbette Thinks He Has A New Air About him!
By: Don J. Hampton

Bubbette isn’t exactly sure when Bubba went from a catfish, crappie, and bream fisherman to a devoted full-time bass fisherman, but she can tell you Bubba stinks at both!

This doesn’t mean that he is bad at the sport or that he doesn't bathe before fishing, it just means he smells like he's been fishing. Just like the say- ing you are what you eat, Bubbette believes he smells like what he fishes for!

When Bubba fished for catfish, crappie, and bream that wasn’t so bad. At least then all he smelled like when he came in the house was fish. Bubbette didn’t mind this because then she had plenty of fish in the freezer for her fish fries she loves so much. After he had cleaned the fish, put them in the freezer, bathed and the clothes were in the washer, the smell of his excursion was gone. One of Bubba's bass fishing trips brings back an odor that is indescribable, has a tendency to linger and is even harder to wash out.

Bubba read an article, (most likely written by one of the companies that makes one of his many scents, sprays, oils, and dyes he applies to his plastics), that said there is an enzyme created in the human body that is secreted through the pores that repels bass. Knowing Bubba as I do, I’m quite sure he had to study that story and look up some of the words in the dictionary before he grasped the true meaning. Once he did understand it he accepted it as “The Gospel According to Bass Angling”! Now no piece of plastic he throws, whether weightless, wacky, Carolina, Texas, or Florida rigged, hits the water without being sprayed, dyed, oiled, or slicked with something really smelly.

Knowing how Bubba has to have stuff, he has them all!

He has enough dyes in his boat he could create a rainbow on a piece of plastic. He could make a piece of driftwood smell like a crawfish. He can even make a crawfish smell like a shad and on top of all of this, everyone of his rods smell like bread served in an Italian restaurant.

When Bubba walks through the door after one of his bass fishing trips or especially after a tournament, Bubbette swears he wears what he fishes! She pretty much has it pinpointed what he smells like when he walks in. She says, “He smells like an Italian crawfish boil in a Chinese fish market!" I’ve never smelled that, but I have had a whiff or two of Bubba after his fishing trips and I would have to agree with Bubbette’s description.

“Not only has his smell changed,” said Bubbette, "but he has changed. When he is fishing for the freezer he'll wear whatever he finds first, like an old T-shirt, old shorts, cut-offs, or jeans, but when he bass fishes, he has special attire!" She went on to add, “His shirts have all got embroidery on them and he has to have all his patches reflecting his conquests sewed on them and he leaves that part to me. If I don’t have his newest one sewed on before a tournament he says I jinxed him. There was a time when he wouldn’t go in public wearing anything that had a patch on it! Now I can’t get him out of them! Literally! Bubba even has to have cargo shorts and pants that match his shirts. Can the bass see all of this and does it make them want to be caught by a well dressed smelly fisherman?”

Well Bubbette, the answer to your question is probably “Blowing in the Wind”, and that is the best place for Bubba’s attire to air out! Don’t be too hard on Bubba there are a lot of bass anglers out there that are the same way.

Bubba isn’t that unique or different and he’ll probably never be a “Legend”, but one thing is for sure, he will always be driving one! Everyone knows that, “Bubba Needs Stuff!”